It is when my commission is at stake! I'm not your Designer Handbag Rental Service! My name is not BagBorrowOrSteal.com!

Enter Freeman Hall, an aspiring screenwriter who sets out to realize his Hollywood dream, but instead plunges into the seventh circle of Retail Hell when the rent comes due, selling animal-hide Hobos and overpriced clutches to Lookie-Loos and Picky Bitches—but always with a sunshiny smile.

Freeman toils in the handbag (that's handbag, NOT purse) department of the Big Fancy department store, where he sees, hears, smells (and unfortunately, feels) it all! Here, he provides a true—and truly shocking—account of life from the other side of the handbag display. From early-morning RA-RA RALLIES to the craziest crazy-lady customers, Freeman's horrific and hilarious workday tales redefine Juicy Couture.

As Freeman begins to plots his escape, he realizes that despite the Big Fancy's lax return policy, for him, there really may be no returns . . . no exchanges . . . no way out.

Freeman Hall (Los Angeles, CA) is a retail survivor who began slaving in retail at the age of twenty at Macy's. His most notable retailicious experience was with specialty clothing store Nordstrom, where he spent fifteen years as an award-winning handbag manager and salesperson. Check out RetailHelltheBook.com for his blog, videos, sounding board, and more.